Friday, 15 May 2015

[Sleeping Beauty] Sleeping Gargoyles, Hidden Dragon (and Some Vampires) part 2 of 2

Last time I left you all with the incredible cliff-hanger -- incredible, unbelievable, but shockingly true! -- that not only was King Stefan's Court staffed with gargoyles, but that Prince Phillip was no ordinary well-to-do rich kid, he was secretly a soulless ginger monstrosity from the shadows.

Read on now as I explain, in the final part in this series, the dark and demonic secrets behind Sleeping Beauty.

First of all, we shall return to the gargoyles.

If the sacred crest was not enough, then feast your eyes upon the courtyard and attendant guards within the movie. Prepare yourselves for a shock, as you will quickly noticed that almost none of the people within move during the day.

This, of course, is entirely normal for gargoyles, even ones that can become fully human a'la "I, Frankenstein". During the day, these fierce guardians are immobile, waiting for the night to become active and protect their domain.

Obviously at this point in their history, humans and gargoyles work well together, as the human king pays homage to their most sacred and noble of families.

But that's not all, oh no! For whilst Stefan and Leah are most likely human -- as is their daughter Aurora -- the visiting Prince Phillip is not.

I don't want to give the end of the movie away, but I'm sure most of you have seen it by now, so it won't be a secret when I tell you that, at the end of the movie when the stirring strains of once upon a dream start playing, Prince Phillip and the resurrected Queen of Darkness, Lady Aurora of the Night (I am, I must admit, not sure of her full vampiric title, maybe somebody can correct me) not only dance, but proceed to fly away.

Don't be fooled by the blue sky, it is clearly night in the movie!

How can mere humans do this? Well obviously, they can't. But flight is simple for a vampire...

See, we must first decipher another clue given to us by our unmasking of Maleficent as a Dragon Aspect (or at least as a powerful dragon enchantress): she controls other "fairies" -- namely the "good" fairy godmothers!

Didn't you ever wonder how those three bumbling imbecile pixies managed to look after a baby with no magic, and how even after sixteen years of practice can't go a single day without their wands? It's because they didn't, and they haven't. In that order.

It's because each of them, unbeknownst to the others, is a double agent. A really stupid double agent (and it's this stupidity in aiding Philip long past the point they needed to which helps in their undoing). Each of their stupid ideas is designed to advance Maleficent's plans, and the others only agree because they think "ahha, this stupid idea will help Mistress Maleficent!"

Their true colours are shown when it becomes clear that the third gift -- that Aurora not actually die -- utterly fails. Why else would they be sad? Obviously they are sad she is dead, target of eventual assassination or not, but when each realizes that their mistress has triumphed, and Aurora is dead never to return, well, they cover up their betrayal by causing all the gargoyles (and humans, though these would most likely die) to go into the same sort of charmed sleep as Xanatos did in Disney's Gargoyles, just with a different set of criteria to break it.

Unbeknownst to them, though, Philip is a soulless ginger vampire, as I have already stated. His true colours can be seen during the period when he, unlike the gargoyles, is out and about enjoying the forest looking for his next forsaken meal. Being a Bram Stoker'ish vampire, he doesn't burst into flames in daylight, he's just unmasked and rendered relatively harmless.

Here we see gingerus vampiricus rex preparing to unhinge his jaw as he stalks his prey.

As can be seen in the shot above, he is clearly ginger, whilst his "father" isn't. I wonder how common a problem that is with royalty? Anyway, come the end of the movie, his demonic powers return, he slays the dragon (who just wanted to protect the Earth from the ravages of Mankind, Vampire and Gargoyle) and then discovers his dead bride-to-be in the highest room of the tallest tower.

Not wasting any time, he feeds her his blood to turn the sweet and innocent Princess Aurora in unholy hellspawn, which of course thwarts the final triumph of the only truly good character in this movie, Maleficent, and wakes the princess and everyone else up, for a triumphant end where the newly wed vampire couple fly off into the night to begin their reign of terror.

But the story obviously doesn't stop there, as I hereby submit for your consideration that thus began the schism that ended the fragile peace between man and gargoyle.

Unhappy with the vampires stealing their future queen away, I suggest that a breakaway group of gargoyles moved West into England and Scotland (shedding their human appearance whilst at it), whilst the vampires migrated into Eastern Europe as an uneasy truce turned to all-out hatred, leading to a dissolution of the fairie state which had existed at the time. This eventually led to Mankind's ascension to head honcho across Europe, leaving scattered pockets of experimented-upon talking animals as the only legacy of poor, much-maligned Maleficent.

The vampires would go into seclusion and the gargoyles would be all but wiped out... until, in late 20th century Manhattan, a single clan would be resurrected when the sky burned...

And here, my friends, I shall leave you, with the greatest story never told.

Good day!



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