Sunday, 24 May 2015

[Avengers] Why can only certain characters lift Thor's hammer?

Avengers 2 is a perfect film about which no-one has any criticism. Joss Whedon was even forced to leave Twitter as he could not handle the deluge of praise from completely unentitled fans.

That said, there is one mystery in Age of Ultron that is still unsolved - just how could the Vision pick up Thor's hammer? (Spoilers for Age of Ultron, by the way). Thor's hammer Mjolnir is an ancient artifact full of awesome power, and only one worthy may hold it and thus gain the power of Thor. Whilst the Marvel universe is full of heroes, it turns out that most of them just aren't worthy enough to be able to lift it, with only Thor as the epitome of worthiness.

Unless of course, Thor is lying.

Saturday, 16 May 2015

[Steven Universe] is the sequel to Sapphire and Steel

This theory would be absolutely amazing if not for the fact that literally none of the audience for Steven Universe would have seen Sapphire and Steel. But buckle up kiddos, we're going for it anyway as it's a great one!

Steven Universe is a bright, colourful kids cartoon that started in 2013 about a boy and his living gem friends who have wacky adventures and fight monsters in short ten minute episodes. Sapphire and Steel is a dark 1979 British tv series about two mysterious figures who do mysterious unexplained things. It is very mysterious. But it stars David McCallum and Joanna Lumley.

So how could the two shows possibly be connected? There's actually a lot of evidence aside from the obvious.

Friday, 15 May 2015

[Sleeping Beauty] Sleeping Gargoyles, Hidden Dragon (and Some Vampires) part 2 of 2

Last time I left you all with the incredible cliff-hanger -- incredible, unbelievable, but shockingly true! -- that not only was King Stefan's Court staffed with gargoyles, but that Prince Phillip was no ordinary well-to-do rich kid, he was secretly a soulless ginger monstrosity from the shadows.

Read on now as I explain, in the final part in this series, the dark and demonic secrets behind Sleeping Beauty.

Thursday, 14 May 2015

[Doctor Who] All 97 missing episodes have been found but the BBC refuse to release them

Everyone knows that Doctor Who is the best television show in the world, but many do not realise that the BBC didn't always feel the same way about its golden child. In the late 60s and early 70s, the BBC undertook an orgy of destruction, burning and hacking apart their archives of classic episodes of Doctor Who in an attempt to destroy the show forever.

Thankfully the efforts of fans have helped to rebuild the archives, but there is still a way to go. 97 episodes remain missing to date, with the worldwide search apparently exhausted. All hope is lost... or is it?

Wednesday, 13 May 2015

[Sleeping Beauty] Sleeping Gargoyles, Hidden Dragon (and Some Vampires) part 1 of 2

Sleeping Beauty is an enduring tale of star-crossed lovers and overcoming adversity, right?

Well if you thought that, you'd be wrong, oh so very wrong.

You may think it is merely about the happenstance of Princess Aurora falling for Prince Phillip, but believe me, behind this cutesy facade is evidence of a three-way war that shook the Earth for millennia.

The secrets I have uncovered in this innocent-seeming story will blow your mind, shattering every preconception you may have had about this otherwise mundane tale of narcolepsy and questionable consent.

Read on for part one of my two-part post to find out more!

Tuesday, 12 May 2015

[Battlestar Galactica] Everyone who isn't a Cylon is a robot

Battlestar Galactica is about a race of robots. And Cylons.

The events of Battlestar Galactica constantly repeat. "All of this has happened before, and all of it will happen again." Mankind creates Cylons. Cylons destroy mankind. New Cylons are created. They rise up against their creators. Again and again the same events happen.

But this means that every time history repeats, the Cylons become what is known as 'mankind' and create new Cylons. And what are Cylons? They are machines. Organic machines.

The thing is that we make many assumptions about background details in Battlestar Galactica. Many objects are described with unfamiliar words. "Ambrosia" is the word used for alcohol, for example. "Frak" is a word used for... a swear word. How do we know that familiar words mean familiar things? Like "heart" and "blood".

You see, it's very possible that what we think of as 'humans' in Battlestar Galactica are machines. If the creation of the Cylons is something that continually repeats, then it stands to reason that machine Cylons create organic Cylons which create machine Cylons, and so on. Battlestar Galactica need only take place in one of the iterations where machine Cylons are the ones who create organic Cylons.

Monday, 11 May 2015

[Captain Planet] Heart is the most important power

The heroic Captain Planet spent most of the 90's flying about the world and using his superpowers in an attempt to bring the level of pollution down to "zero". He is summoned when the five brave Planeteers use their power rings of fire, water, earth, air and heart.

Many people enjoy mocking the power of heart, and the poor Planeteer Ma-Ti who was stuck with this useless power. While his fellow Planeteers could shoot fireballs or wreck havoc with wind, Ma-Ti used his ring to make people feel slightly better about themselves and others. His critics are fools though, as heart was the most important power of all!

Sunday, 10 May 2015

[Pac-Man] Pac-Man is a powerful anti-drugs message

A man pushes pill after pill into his mouth, trapped in a never-ending Kafka-esque maze. Is this a warning about drugs... or is it Pac-Man?

The 80s was a time when anti-drugs awareness really gained ground in the media. Governments teamed up with popular media figures in order to fight the drug menace and warn children away from the dark path. From comic books to cartoons, the mass-media message to kids was simple: don't do drugs! It comes as no surprise then, that the popular computer game Pac-Man was designed explicitly with an anti-drug message in mind.

Saturday, 9 May 2015

[Doctor Who] The Doctor's name is literally 'Doctor Who' and Peter Cushing was the actual First Doctor

The Peter Cushing Doctor Who movies of the 60's are unfairly maligned by fans. Despite being colourful adventures for the big screen, they are derided for being 'uncanonical' as Cushing plays a human scientist called 'Doctor Who' in adventures that are remakes of classic serials. Cushing himself had a theory that his Doctor was a future incarnation who had been trapped by the evil Celestial Toymaker into reliving past adventures (no, really, that was his idea, what a fanboy!) but to date the Doctor has not yet regenerated into Cushing, and he would surely not want to associate himself with such a racist caracature as th Toymaker.

The Cushing Doctor's origins lie not in the future but in the past. For you see, it was he not Hartnell who was the real First Doctor, and so reveals the Doctor's name to literally be 'Doctor Who'.

Friday, 8 May 2015

[Cookie Clicker] Cookie Clicker is designed to destroy the cookie industry

Cookie Clicker is a popular browser game that is fun for all the family, where players must click a cookie to produce more cookies. Expert players have produced over a billion cookies from their clicks alone. There is a darker side to Cookie Clicker though: it is very likely that it is in fact designed to turn people against the cookie industry.

Thursday, 7 May 2015

[Spider-Man] The burglar didn't kill Uncle Ben - he killed Peter Parker instead

The story of Spider-Man is a beloved one, ingrained in the public consciousness by filmmakers keen on repeating it again and again. Nerdy Peter Parker is bit by a radioactive spider and gains spider powers. He tries to use his powers for material gain by becoming a wrestler, but his kind Uncle Ben is shot and killed by a burglar that he had earlier failed to stop. Heeding Uncle Ben's words that "with great power come great responsibility", Peter turns to masked vigilantism.

Did kindly Uncle Ben really die that night? Or could the true victim of that crime have been Peter Parker?

Wednesday, 6 May 2015

[Star Wars] The destruction of the Death Star was an inside job

The assault on the Death Star at the end of Star Wars: A New Hope is one of the great moments of cinema, a pure thrill ride as the Rebel Alliance push their attack and a plucky band of pilots destroy the biggest weapon ever created. It's a lovely story, but is it the truth?

Obviously on one hand, of course it's not the truth: Star Wars is the fictional construction of George Lucas. But on the other hand, it's not the truth either. How can it be when the destruction of the Death Star was an inside job?

Tuesday, 5 May 2015

[Game of Thrones] The secret finger code: Explaining Littlefinger

Littlefinger is one of the most captivating characters in Game of Thrones. He is by turns manipulative and helpful, but is he a villain or on the side of the angels? The answer to this is unclear for the most part, but by looking at some of the clever subtext, a very clear answer emerges.

You see, throughout the books, George RR Martin shows the loss of fingers as a symbol of turning a character from good to evil.

Monday, 4 May 2015

[Alien] Jones the cat is in league with the Alien

There's a deadly killer on board the Nostromo. It is a creature perfectly designed for killing and stalks the corridors with impunity. There's also a Xenomorph too.

Sunday, 3 May 2015

[Toy Story] The toys are all possessed by the spirits of the dead

The Toy Story films are pretty simple, right? They're about a group of toys who by day are a child's playthings but lead their own lives while unobserved. It's the heart-warming story of two friends, Buzz and Woody, and all their amazing adventures as they learn about their friendship and the harsh realities of life.

But what makes these toys come to life? There is a lot of evidence to suggest that these toys are all actually possessed by ghosts.

Saturday, 2 May 2015

[Pirates of the Caribbean] Blackbeard got the Fountain of Youth and retired as an antiques dealer

The classic movie 'Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides' saw the wiley Captain Jack Sparrow battle the evil Blackbeard in a quest to find the legendary Fountain of Youth. At the end, Blackbeard is foiled and dies in his pursuit of the Fountain.

The death of Blackbeard is far from certain though. In fact, Captain Jack Sparrow seems to have been tricked, and Blackbeard did not die but found eternal life.

Friday, 1 May 2015

[Mario] Mario is a crazed murderer

In this day and age, it is perhaps too easy to reinterpret the actions of famed Italian plumber Mario Mario and his adventures in the Mushroom Kingdom. Historians no longer have any sympathy for foreign troops invading a sovereign land in the name of 'freedom'.

Yes, Mario rampages against helpless Goombas, but his crimes go far deeper than that. His murderous rampage is against the innocent inhabitants of the Mushroom Kingdom themselves!

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