Tuesday, 6 October 2015

[Doctor Who] What is in the Doctor's Confession Dial?

Steven Moffat is literally the cleverest man alive. However as evidenced by the internet he is also literally Satan. So what has our Satanic genius got in store for Doctor Who series 9?

As shown in the season opener, The Magician's Apprentice/The Witch's Familiar, the Doctor fears his own death, and so has created a 'Confession Dial' which when opened will reveal his greatest secret. A big fuss is made of it in these episodes, as he sends it to Missy (his best friend) rather than Clara, and makes a show of rescuing it from Davros.

More to the point - the Dial seems to be slowly opening! There are twelve segments, representing twelve episodes of the season (or perhaps twelve Doctors). What could be inside this dial though?
As always, the answer is in plain sight.

Wednesday, 12 August 2015

[Steven Universe] Garnet isn't really Garnet

Warning, major spoilers for Steven Universe if you're not up to date yet!

Garnet is one of the heroes of the television show Steven Universe. She's the coolest space rock about and a firm friend and protector of Steven... or is she? Can we really be sure that Garnet is actually Garnet?

No. No we can't.

Season one was littered with lots of clues that Garnet was actually a fusion, two beings combined into one. This was confirmed in the season one finale 'Jailbreak'. Season two looks to be following a similar trail of earth-shattering clues about Garnet, namely that Garnet was replaced by a spy at the end of season one. There is plenty of evidence to suggest this is the case:

Tuesday, 11 August 2015

[Warhammer 40k] The God Emperor of Mankind is an Ork

The 41st century is a pretty grim place, all said and told. The Imperium of Man is in a stagnant decline and beset by enemies on all sides. There are the shady Eldar, the even shadier Dark Eldar, and Ork hordes ravaging the spacelanes. Chaos Gods lurk in the warp, Tyrannid Hive Fleets threaten to devour the entire galaxy and all the tanks and spaceships are now made from plastic. Also an Ork sits upon the Golden Throne of Man.

Heresey!

...Or is it? The truth can never be heresey! The God Emperor of Man is in fact an Ork, raised to the highest level. The evidence for this is actually extremely compelling.

Wednesday, 1 July 2015

[Steven Universe] Pearl is secretly a diamond

Steven Universe is a show with many subtle secrets hidden within it. Fans have spent months picking through episodes and finding what appeared to be animation errors actually being subtle clues to upcoming episodes. One big theory is that one of the main characters isn't what they appear to be and is secretly a diamond.

There is actually a lot of convincing evidence as to why Pearl might in fact be White Diamond:
  • A pearl isn't actually a stone, it's the calcified organic byproduct of molluscs. As the Gems talk about Steven being unique due to his organic nature, Pearl can't be a pearl. The only explanation is that she is a different stone, disguised as a pearl.
  • Pearl's features resemble the hard lines of a diamond more than the soft curves of a pearl. Her hair tapers to a point. Her head can be seen as a diamond shape. Her nose is a diamond. If she puts her legs together and holds her hands together above her head, her body makes a perfect diamond. Can this possibly be coincidence?
  • Pearl never shapeshifts. Shapeshifting would reveal that she is in fact a diamond.
  • Pearl's spacesuit has a diamond on it, betraying her diamond nature.
  • In 'Maximum Capacity', Pearl's cardigan is covered in diamonds, teasing us as to her true form.
  • Pearl's spear is sharp, almost diamond-like!
  • Jasper realises that Pearl is not a real pearl, calling her a 'defective pearl'. But she is unable to realise Pearl's true nature as a diamond.
  • In 'Sworn to the Sword', Pearl sings about not being made to fight. No, she was made to rule, as a diamond.
  • Pearl is the master of lies. In 'So Many Birthdays' she declares her love of pie, and yet bare episodes later in 'Fusion Cuisine' she makes a fuss about how she hates to eat any food. What else is Pearl lying about?
  • Pearl seems very upset about Rose's death. This is strange. Perhaps Pearl is upset that she didn't get to kill Rose herself?
  • In 'Serious Steven', the characters enter a giant white diamond pyramid. Pearl is oddly reluctant to use her genius tactical nature to figure the pyramid out - could it be that she didn't want the other Gems to learn its secrets and deactivate it?

  • In 'The Return', Peridot's laser deliberately swerves to avoid Pearl when it's heading straight for her. Why could this be? Perhaps Pearl is Peridot's secret master?
  • Why does Pearl seem so interested in the Gem fragments in 'Secret Team'. Could she want to be using them for the same purpose as Peridot was in 'Keeping It Together'? 
So it's certainly probable that Pearl is actually White Diamond, not a pearl. But what does Pearl being a diamond mean to the show? Could she have disguised herself as Pearl in order to get closer to Rose, her true love? Or is there a more sinister reason?

Could Pearl have infiltrated Rose's resistance group for evil purposes? Could she have set Rose's group against Homeworld in an attempt to cause a civil war that she would be the final victor of?

Consider: Steven has been put in danger more times by Pearl, not by any other monsters or Gems. As he has the Rose Quartz gem, Steven is Pearl's biggest rival. This is why she attempts to blow him up in 'Space Race' and let him tumble to his doom in 'Rose's Scabbard'. In 'So Many Birthdays' on learning that Steven is dying as he is too depressed, Pearl instantly becomes a depressing clown in an attempt to make him even sadder, stopped only when the other Gems explicitly accuse her of trying to murder Steven. Remember, the only evidence that Pearl actually cares about Steven's wellbeing is in 'Say Uncle', and that episode is 100% non-canon.

Can it be any coincidence that Pearl attempted to flee Earth just as Lapis made it off-planet? Was Pearl planning on rejoining her Diamond Authority cronies for the final war on Earth?

[Game of Thrones] The Dornish Master Plan

As any Game of Thrones fan knows, Doran Martell is a pretty clever man. He has been expertly manipulating events in the books to ensure the dominance of Dorne. Many characters and settings have changed for the show though, leaving fans confused as to what Doran's endgame is. Clearly his master plan will be as equally genius, but what is it?

In the books, Doran has another son, Quentyn. Doran sends him to marry Dany but in reality he is a disposable pawn being sent on a fool's errand. Quentyn bumbles about for a book achieving nothing with no hand to play before getting roasted alive by a dragon. This causes Dorne to turn against Dany, allowing Doran to ally himself with fAegon, a claimant to the throne.

Of course, in the television show there is no Quentyn, and no fAegon. Or is there? Some of these characters may have been standing right there in front of our noses this whole time.

His son Trystane is also his son. Why does Doran, a master strategist, let him go on a boat with Jaime onto to also have Myrcella killed? This gives Trystane as a hostage to the Lannisters who will surely kill him. Unless of course, Trystane is the show's version of Quentyn, a disposable son-pawn for Doran to discard.

Who then is fAegon? Could the Dorne plot have had a secret meaning after all in introducing this vital character to Westeros?

Yes. Doran has met with fAegon in secret, pledging to help the Targaryan take the throne. Like the books, he plans to have one of his daughters marry fAegon. But who is fAegon?
That's right. Bronn. Bronn has a mysterious past, and could easily be a secret Targaryan prince. His mission to Dorne made no sense unless it was to secretly treat with Doran. Doran's daughters are madly in love with his princely charms and cured him of a deadly poison. With Trystane a hostage and/or dead, the Lannisters will think they have Doran where they want him, not realising that they are indeed dancing to the tune of the mastermind Doran and his prince, Bronn.

Wednesday, 17 June 2015

[House of Cards] Frank Underwood is a patient and the White House is a mental hospital

Theory submitted by James Watson

Frank Underwood is delusional and is locked in a mental hospital. He is occasionally moved but is sent back to the hospital. Claire is also a patient that eventually recovers. Frank's psychosis gets worse as the series progresses, starting with his initial incarceration in season 1 and progressing to a worse (and now famous) state by the end of season 3. In season 1 Frank, after being locked away, attempts a break out with Zoe and others but this fails.
  • Frank frequently talks to the audience. This could be either a sign of schizophrenia or he may be explaining to a physiatrist how he sees his delusions.
  • Frank and Claire smoke secretively together. This could be because the hospital doesn’t allow smoking and they try to avoid detection.
  • Raymond Tusk is a doctor trying to help another patient, Garret Walker (‘the president’). Frank tries to drag Garret back into his delusions and thus comes into conflict with Tusk.
  • The Russian president, Viktor Petrov, is a doctor from another hospital. He initially meets Frank and Claire in their hospital (‘the White House’) and then they are briefly sent to his own hospital (‘Russia’ and later ‘the Middle East’). Viktor takes a liking to Claire as shown in their flirtatious interactions and he eventually helps cure her, resulting in Frank and Clair arguing when they leave ‘Russia’. Michael Corrigan is a patient in ‘Russia’ who is also partly delusional, being treated by Petrov. He kills himself as a result of his delusions which Claire is a witness to.
  • Claire is a patient that is Frank’s wife. She partakes in his delusions but in the 3rd season as he gets worse, she gets better. Clair is helped a lot after their visit to ‘Russia’. At the end of the 3rd season she finally leaves Frank after realising that his delusions are unhealthy to participate in.
  • Edward Meechum is a patient that is in the same ward as Frank and Claire; he is delusional and suffering PTSD after serving in the marines. He develops a devotion to Frank and Claire.
  • Doug Stamper is a recovering alcoholic and also a delusional patient. He suffers split-personality disorder and rotates between being in the hospital and living outside. When he is inside he believes that he is working for the Underwoods, but when he’s outside his persona of working for the Underwoods kicks in resulting in him imagining going on missions for them. These malfunctions in personality when he’s outside resulted in his brain damage from the attack by ‘Rachel’ and the murder of ‘Rachel’ among others. ‘Rachel Posner’ is a delusion created by his alternate personality that he is determined to find, the reason ‘Rachel’ moves around a lot is because he manifests her in different women of the same description.
  • Zoe Barnes is a nurse at the hospital who initially is convinced by Frank to help him escape. Frank often imagines having sex with her. After she realises the extent of his delusions she attempts to undo her help which results in Frank murdering her.
  • Peter Russo is also a recovering alcoholic like Doug. He is a patient that Frank initially includes in his escape plan but after he becomes difficult to work with, frank kills him.
  • Gaffney is actually the town where Frank is from. He occasionally visits there when he shows signs of improvement but is always sent back after bad relapses, such as when he publicly urinates in the first episode of season 3.
  • Tom Yates, a university phycology lecturer, decides to write a book about Frank as Frank's psychosis has now become worse and is now a famous psychology case. He interviews Frank  and others to gain an insight into what started Frank's delusions and why he believes himself to be the president. Frank believes this book to be about his ‘America Works’ program.
  • Frank's friends from his time at the Sentinel visit him in season 1 and realise that he is completely insane. Frank calls one of them when the book is being written but they try to avoid him.
  • All the other characters in the show are either made up delusions by Frank, other patients that share his psychosis (like Remy, Seth and Jackie Sharp), or people that work in the hospital.

Monday, 15 June 2015

[Game of Thrones] The Secret of Jon Snow's Survival

In the shocking season 5 finale of Game of Thrones, Jon "Spoiler Warning" Snow is stabbed to death by his pals in the Night's Watch after being tricked by the promise of Benjen. Many commentators have seen this as an allegory for fandom being enticed and led astray by Benjen-related theories, only to be betrayed by the cruel knife-wielding mob of D&D and their master GRRM.

This may be true, but there is still a story to tell. How does Jon Snow survive?

As the hero of the story, it's clear that he isn't really dead, so the seeds for his survival must already have been sewn. The differences between the book and the show actually point the viewer in the only way Snow could still live.

As a Stark, Jon Snow is a powerful warg, able to plant his mind into any creature he deems fit. The books made it clear that even after death, a warg could live on in the mind of an animal as happens to several wildling wargs. It seems pretty clear then, that Jon Snow is going to warg into his direwolf, Ghost. In the books he is often connected via dreams to Ghost, and his last word as he lies dying is "Ghost".

Television shows are different though. It would be difficult to have the main character be a wolf (this isn't Disney after all!). Additionally if Jon comes back to life straight away it would be impossible to hide the fact the actor is still on set.

The showmakers have cleverly set up the solution in front of our very eyes.

What's Jon's last words? It's not "Ghost" as per the book. No, it is "Olly".
This proves that instead of warging into his direwolf, Jon has warged into his young squire, Olly. Olly was a character created for the show, a young man that Jon takes under his wing. Why create such a new character unless his purpose is unique to the show? Jon spends most of their time together grooming Olly for command, making him his squire like the previous Lord Commander made Jon his squire.

There is a clear career progression in the Night's Watch, and Jon has ensured that Olly is to take over as the new Lord Commander. But why? Could taking over Olly's mind have been Jon's masterplan all along? By stealing Olly's body and ensuring his old body's death, Jon keeps his former power but is now a new, younger Lord Commander.

What possible reason could he have for this though? The answer can be found in GRRM's original pitch for Game of Thrones, and may shock you:

Originally, Jon was to fall in love with Arya, his younger sister. Many have assumed that this was an abandoned plot idea due to the final characters having such wildly differing ages. But what if it wasn't abandoned?

In the body of Olly, Jon is now the perfect age for Arya, and can use the powers of being Lord Commander to have her tracked down and brought to him. Jon Snow, the man we thought to be a hero, is actually revealed to be a soul-stealing Meryn Trant.  Will this plan backfire though? Can Arya possibly fall in love with the boy that murdered her brother, or will she murder him back?

Jon Snow may not be dead, but he might soon be!

Monday, 8 June 2015

[Game of Thrones] Stannis will still win 'Father Of The Year'

The most recent episode of Game of Thrones has put a spanner in the works of Stannis' plan to win Father of the Year as after many scenes of showing how much he loves his daughter, he makes the rookie error of burning her alive. Is everything as it seems though? After all, this makes no sense given everything we know about the Mannis - could this in fact be foreshadowing for an even more complex plan?

Burning his only heir to death has the bonus of unsettling his enemies. Roose Bolton, watching from the towers of Winterfell must assume Stannis is crazy and is trying to defeat himself. Rather than mobilising its full force, the Bolton army would hold back as they wait for Stannis to inevitably kill his own men. Perhaps they think if they wait long enough, crazy Mr Stannis will burn himself to death in the hope it will give him victory.

In fact, Stannis will most probably use this pyre as a NIGHT LAMP. The Boltons will be obsessed with this burning pyre that crazy Stannis used to burn his daughter. All Stannis needs to do is move the pyre over a big pit full of spikes and acid and dogs and relight it. When the Boltons attack in the middle of the night, they will run towards the pyre and fall into the pit, handing Stannis victory. Stannis is, after all, the foremost Westeros military commander.

But does this mean Shireen is dead? Was she sacrificed for victory?

Of course not! She is Stannis' only heir - if she is dead then his entire quest for the Iron Throne is meaningless. And would Stannis really burn his only child to death for a chance of defeating a shirtless Ramsay Bolton? Far more likely is the idea that she is still alive - but how? There are several tantalising possibilities:

  • Stannis' military camp is in the middle of a snowy, frozen wasteland. Do people expect Stannis to let his daughter freeze to death? No, instead he gives her the best spot by the fire. Remember, Westeros is a land where the cold is extremely cold - could the heat of the fire have simply cancelled out the cold of the winter, leaving Shireen a pleasant warm temperature?
  • Was it even Shireen that was burnt to death? It could have been one of the wildlings, such as Mance Rayder or Rattleshirt who were burnt in her place while under a magical disguise, Stannis having faked their earlier deaths to give himself willing decoys to use.
  • Can fire even harm Shireen? Dany was absolutely fine when she walked into a similar firey pyre at the end of season one. Remember the Azor Ahai prophecy - the Prince that was Promise will be 'born amidst smoke and salt' (the smoke of the fire and the salt of her loving mother's tears) and will 'wake dragons from stone' (Shireen has greyscale, the stone disease). It is very possible that instead of just murdering his daughter like a maniac, Stannis is actually empowering her to fulfil her destiny of becoming the new Azor Ahai.
In conclusion, whilst everything looks dark for Stannis winning Father of the Year, as we can see he might indeed be working to snatch a surprise victory!

Sunday, 24 May 2015

[Avengers] Why can only certain characters lift Thor's hammer?

Avengers 2 is a perfect film about which no-one has any criticism. Joss Whedon was even forced to leave Twitter as he could not handle the deluge of praise from completely unentitled fans.

That said, there is one mystery in Age of Ultron that is still unsolved - just how could the Vision pick up Thor's hammer? (Spoilers for Age of Ultron, by the way). Thor's hammer Mjolnir is an ancient artifact full of awesome power, and only one worthy may hold it and thus gain the power of Thor. Whilst the Marvel universe is full of heroes, it turns out that most of them just aren't worthy enough to be able to lift it, with only Thor as the epitome of worthiness.

Unless of course, Thor is lying.

Saturday, 16 May 2015

[Steven Universe] is the sequel to Sapphire and Steel

This theory would be absolutely amazing if not for the fact that literally none of the audience for Steven Universe would have seen Sapphire and Steel. But buckle up kiddos, we're going for it anyway as it's a great one!

Steven Universe is a bright, colourful kids cartoon that started in 2013 about a boy and his living gem friends who have wacky adventures and fight monsters in short ten minute episodes. Sapphire and Steel is a dark 1979 British tv series about two mysterious figures who do mysterious unexplained things. It is very mysterious. But it stars David McCallum and Joanna Lumley.

So how could the two shows possibly be connected? There's actually a lot of evidence aside from the obvious.

Friday, 15 May 2015

[Sleeping Beauty] Sleeping Gargoyles, Hidden Dragon (and Some Vampires) part 2 of 2



Last time I left you all with the incredible cliff-hanger -- incredible, unbelievable, but shockingly true! -- that not only was King Stefan's Court staffed with gargoyles, but that Prince Phillip was no ordinary well-to-do rich kid, he was secretly a soulless ginger monstrosity from the shadows.

Read on now as I explain, in the final part in this series, the dark and demonic secrets behind Sleeping Beauty.

Thursday, 14 May 2015

[Doctor Who] All 97 missing episodes have been found but the BBC refuse to release them

Everyone knows that Doctor Who is the best television show in the world, but many do not realise that the BBC didn't always feel the same way about its golden child. In the late 60s and early 70s, the BBC undertook an orgy of destruction, burning and hacking apart their archives of classic episodes of Doctor Who in an attempt to destroy the show forever.

Thankfully the efforts of fans have helped to rebuild the archives, but there is still a way to go. 97 episodes remain missing to date, with the worldwide search apparently exhausted. All hope is lost... or is it?

Wednesday, 13 May 2015

[Sleeping Beauty] Sleeping Gargoyles, Hidden Dragon (and Some Vampires) part 1 of 2



Sleeping Beauty is an enduring tale of star-crossed lovers and overcoming adversity, right?

Well if you thought that, you'd be wrong, oh so very wrong.

You may think it is merely about the happenstance of Princess Aurora falling for Prince Phillip, but believe me, behind this cutesy facade is evidence of a three-way war that shook the Earth for millennia.

The secrets I have uncovered in this innocent-seeming story will blow your mind, shattering every preconception you may have had about this otherwise mundane tale of narcolepsy and questionable consent.

Read on for part one of my two-part post to find out more!

Tuesday, 12 May 2015

[Battlestar Galactica] Everyone who isn't a Cylon is a robot



Battlestar Galactica is about a race of robots. And Cylons.

The events of Battlestar Galactica constantly repeat. "All of this has happened before, and all of it will happen again." Mankind creates Cylons. Cylons destroy mankind. New Cylons are created. They rise up against their creators. Again and again the same events happen.

But this means that every time history repeats, the Cylons become what is known as 'mankind' and create new Cylons. And what are Cylons? They are machines. Organic machines.

The thing is that we make many assumptions about background details in Battlestar Galactica. Many objects are described with unfamiliar words. "Ambrosia" is the word used for alcohol, for example. "Frak" is a word used for... a swear word. How do we know that familiar words mean familiar things? Like "heart" and "blood".

You see, it's very possible that what we think of as 'humans' in Battlestar Galactica are machines. If the creation of the Cylons is something that continually repeats, then it stands to reason that machine Cylons create organic Cylons which create machine Cylons, and so on. Battlestar Galactica need only take place in one of the iterations where machine Cylons are the ones who create organic Cylons.

Monday, 11 May 2015

[Captain Planet] Heart is the most important power


The heroic Captain Planet spent most of the 90's flying about the world and using his superpowers in an attempt to bring the level of pollution down to "zero". He is summoned when the five brave Planeteers use their power rings of fire, water, earth, air and heart.

Many people enjoy mocking the power of heart, and the poor Planeteer Ma-Ti who was stuck with this useless power. While his fellow Planeteers could shoot fireballs or wreck havoc with wind, Ma-Ti used his ring to make people feel slightly better about themselves and others. His critics are fools though, as heart was the most important power of all!

Sunday, 10 May 2015

[Pac-Man] Pac-Man is a powerful anti-drugs message


A man pushes pill after pill into his mouth, trapped in a never-ending Kafka-esque maze. Is this a warning about drugs... or is it Pac-Man?

The 80s was a time when anti-drugs awareness really gained ground in the media. Governments teamed up with popular media figures in order to fight the drug menace and warn children away from the dark path. From comic books to cartoons, the mass-media message to kids was simple: don't do drugs! It comes as no surprise then, that the popular computer game Pac-Man was designed explicitly with an anti-drug message in mind.

Saturday, 9 May 2015

[Doctor Who] The Doctor's name is literally 'Doctor Who' and Peter Cushing was the actual First Doctor

The Peter Cushing Doctor Who movies of the 60's are unfairly maligned by fans. Despite being colourful adventures for the big screen, they are derided for being 'uncanonical' as Cushing plays a human scientist called 'Doctor Who' in adventures that are remakes of classic serials. Cushing himself had a theory that his Doctor was a future incarnation who had been trapped by the evil Celestial Toymaker into reliving past adventures (no, really, that was his idea, what a fanboy!) but to date the Doctor has not yet regenerated into Cushing, and he would surely not want to associate himself with such a racist caracature as th Toymaker.

The Cushing Doctor's origins lie not in the future but in the past. For you see, it was he not Hartnell who was the real First Doctor, and so reveals the Doctor's name to literally be 'Doctor Who'.

Friday, 8 May 2015

[Cookie Clicker] Cookie Clicker is designed to destroy the cookie industry

Cookie Clicker is a popular browser game that is fun for all the family, where players must click a cookie to produce more cookies. Expert players have produced over a billion cookies from their clicks alone. There is a darker side to Cookie Clicker though: it is very likely that it is in fact designed to turn people against the cookie industry.

Thursday, 7 May 2015

[Spider-Man] The burglar didn't kill Uncle Ben - he killed Peter Parker instead

The story of Spider-Man is a beloved one, ingrained in the public consciousness by filmmakers keen on repeating it again and again. Nerdy Peter Parker is bit by a radioactive spider and gains spider powers. He tries to use his powers for material gain by becoming a wrestler, but his kind Uncle Ben is shot and killed by a burglar that he had earlier failed to stop. Heeding Uncle Ben's words that "with great power come great responsibility", Peter turns to masked vigilantism.

Did kindly Uncle Ben really die that night? Or could the true victim of that crime have been Peter Parker?

Wednesday, 6 May 2015

[Star Wars] The destruction of the Death Star was an inside job


The assault on the Death Star at the end of Star Wars: A New Hope is one of the great moments of cinema, a pure thrill ride as the Rebel Alliance push their attack and a plucky band of pilots destroy the biggest weapon ever created. It's a lovely story, but is it the truth?

Obviously on one hand, of course it's not the truth: Star Wars is the fictional construction of George Lucas. But on the other hand, it's not the truth either. How can it be when the destruction of the Death Star was an inside job?

Tuesday, 5 May 2015

[Game of Thrones] The secret finger code: Explaining Littlefinger


Littlefinger is one of the most captivating characters in Game of Thrones. He is by turns manipulative and helpful, but is he a villain or on the side of the angels? The answer to this is unclear for the most part, but by looking at some of the clever subtext, a very clear answer emerges.

You see, throughout the books, George RR Martin shows the loss of fingers as a symbol of turning a character from good to evil.

Monday, 4 May 2015

[Alien] Jones the cat is in league with the Alien


There's a deadly killer on board the Nostromo. It is a creature perfectly designed for killing and stalks the corridors with impunity. There's also a Xenomorph too.

Sunday, 3 May 2015

[Toy Story] The toys are all possessed by the spirits of the dead

The Toy Story films are pretty simple, right? They're about a group of toys who by day are a child's playthings but lead their own lives while unobserved. It's the heart-warming story of two friends, Buzz and Woody, and all their amazing adventures as they learn about their friendship and the harsh realities of life.

But what makes these toys come to life? There is a lot of evidence to suggest that these toys are all actually possessed by ghosts.

Saturday, 2 May 2015

[Pirates of the Caribbean] Blackbeard got the Fountain of Youth and retired as an antiques dealer

The classic movie 'Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides' saw the wiley Captain Jack Sparrow battle the evil Blackbeard in a quest to find the legendary Fountain of Youth. At the end, Blackbeard is foiled and dies in his pursuit of the Fountain.

The death of Blackbeard is far from certain though. In fact, Captain Jack Sparrow seems to have been tricked, and Blackbeard did not die but found eternal life.

Friday, 1 May 2015

[Mario] Mario is a crazed murderer

In this day and age, it is perhaps too easy to reinterpret the actions of famed Italian plumber Mario Mario and his adventures in the Mushroom Kingdom. Historians no longer have any sympathy for foreign troops invading a sovereign land in the name of 'freedom'.

Yes, Mario rampages against helpless Goombas, but his crimes go far deeper than that. His murderous rampage is against the innocent inhabitants of the Mushroom Kingdom themselves!

Thursday, 30 April 2015

[X-Men] Professor X can secretly walk, he is just really lazy

Professor Charles Xavier, otherwise known as Professor X, is the brilliant leader of the X-Men: a genius telepath who is often seen in his iconic wheelchair. But other times he can be seen walking about having been 'cured', only to them return to the chair. Once might be fair enough, but this constant roundabout of miracle cures followed by mysterious accidents is very suspicious.

It is more likely that Professor X could walk all along but was just very, very lazy.

Wednesday, 29 April 2015

[Avengers] Thanos won't be a villain


For years, movie fans have been excitedly waiting for the moment when Thanos appears on Earth wielding the Infinity Gauntlet and fights the Avengers. Tantalising teases of Thanos have popped up throughout the Marvel movies, each seeming to move the overarching plot forwards towards 'Infinity War'.

What if all these fans are wrong though? What if Thanos won't be a villain at all?

Tuesday, 28 April 2015

[Avengers] Age of Ultron is about the positives of Tony Stark's unethical arms dealing past


As everyone knows, Tony Stark's past is one full of darkness and misery. Loved by the US military, he used his genius talents for evil, creating deadly weapons and bombs to be used on innocent people, not caring who he hurt as long as he made lots of money. Tony Stark then turned his back on this, dedicating himself to truth and justice as Iron Man.

Age of Ultron turns this on its head: it is a film that celebrates this past, and forces the audience to agree that unethical military capitalism can be necessary.

Monday, 27 April 2015

[Sonic] Sonic the Hedgehog is as slow as a normal hedgehog

Sonic the Hedgehog is the world's fastest hedgehog. People see just a blue blur as he races over the land to defeat the evil Dr Robotnik and his robot creations. He claims to be able to travel faster than light... a strange claim given that hedgehogs can only run at 15mph.

Is Sonic a special hedgehog then? Or is he simply no faster than a normal hedgehog?

There is little reason to believe Sonic is special. The biggest difference between him and normal hedgehogs is his vivid blue colouration. Of course, colour doesn't affect speed in any way, and science tells us that a speeding object shifts towards the red end of the spectrum in a 'red shift'. Blue would indicate that Sonic is somehow slower than a normal hedgehog!

Sunday, 26 April 2015

[Always Sunny] It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia takes place in an alternate universe where Hitler won World War 2

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is an hilarious show depicting the day to day lives of an average group of Philadephians. Some fans have picked up on subtle hints showing a darker undercurrent to events

Are the lives of Frank and Charlie and co really so happy? Or is 'Always Sunny' set in a terrible parallel universe where the Nazis won World War 2.

Saturday, 25 April 2015

[Doctor Who] The Time War was fought against giant invisible spiders

At first glance, this is a completely ridiculous statement. "The Time War was clearly fought against Daleks!" you might say. "Look, look, right there, you can literally see them fighting the Time War on screen! See?" Yes, at first glance this is the case. But there is compelling evidence that the Daleks were simple patsies for the true enemy: giant invisible spiders.

Friday, 24 April 2015

[The Mist] The Mist is a warning against marijuana legalisation


Stephen King's famous novel and subsequent film 'The Mist' is a harrowing tale of a man trapped in a grocery store whilst outside a terrifying mist hides hideous monsters. He must fight to survive from both the insane human element inside, and the monstrous monster element outside.

The Mist follows the proud Hollywood tradition of anti-marijuana films, especially prescient in an age where there was imminent danger of marijuana legalisation.

Thursday, 23 April 2015

[Star Wars] There is a tiny man trapped inside R2D2


R2D2 is Luke Skywalker's best pal; everyone's favourite little plucky droid! He fearlessly helps the Rebel cause against the empire with his robotic skills. There's only one problem with this synopsis: R2D2 isn't a robot at all: there's actually more evidence that he is just an empty shell with a tiny man trapped inside.

Wednesday, 22 April 2015

[Batman] Alfred is bankrolling all the villains


The Joker's just got out of jail and is terrorising the city with a personalised Joker-tank constructed in his own image. Two-Face has had all his assets seized but somehow has hold of a gigantic coin-flipping machine which he plans to threaten city hall with. King Tut's a crazy man with a Tutankhamun fixation but somehow has enough capital to build a giant golden death-statue but also hire a gang of thugs dressed in custom Egyptian-themed battle garb.

Gotham's criminals are all at each other's throats all the time. There is no kingpin of crime who sets up destitute criminals with high-tech organisatons. So who is financing them? Alfred Pennyworth, that's who.

Tuesday, 21 April 2015

[House of Cards] Frank Underwood is secretly Lex Luthor


An evil, power-obsessed man who wants only wealth and control of the world, not caring who he manipulates. Is this man Frank Underwood or he is Lex Luthor... or he is both?

The links between both characters run more than skin-deep. There is a whole network of evidence that builds up a tantalising picture: Frank Underwood is literally Lex Luthor in disguise.

Monday, 20 April 2015

[XCOM] XCOM was designed to fail


The Earth is in danger from constant alien attack. Only the brave force that is XCOM can possibly save the world. All the nations of the Earth have teamed up to finance and outfit this elite force of human justice. There's only one problem with this: for the cream of the cream of humanity, XCOM is a bit rubbish.

Sunday, 19 April 2015

[Game of Thrones] Ned Stark is in league with the White Walkers


Ned Stark was the hero at the beginning of Game of Thrones. He was a kind, honest man who loved his family and his king, and above all was honourable to a fault. He is a good man. Or so we were led to believe.

Ned can actually be seen as one of the chief villains of the whole series, and architect of much that has happened. The Starks have a stake in winter, but it isn't necessarily on the human side...

Saturday, 18 April 2015

[Star Wars] Obi-Wan Kenobi was the Sith Lord that everyone was looking for

 During the Star Wars prequels, the Jedi order were shown to be investigating the whereabouts of an evil Sith Lord thought to be masterminding events behind the scenes. Their detective work was to no avail though as the evil Palpatine revealed himself to be a Sith, killing the Jedi and grabbing ultimate power for himself. Palpatine wasn't the chief Sith Lord everyone was looking for though.

That was Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Friday, 17 April 2015

[Doctor Who] The TARDIS doesn't move in time or space


The TARDIS is a miraculous piece of technology that can take the Doctor anywhere in time and space. It is bigger on the inside than the outside, and it is disguised as a humble London police box. The Doctor has travelled from the start of time to the end, and gone to places as far apart as ancient Rome and the majestic alien world of Karfel.

Can the TARDIS really move anywhere in time and space? There is actually more evidence that it doesn’t.

Thursday, 16 April 2015

[Star Trek] Q caused Picard's baldness


Captain Jean-Luc Picard is famously known as 'the bald captain' of the USS Enterprise. People laugh to think of him 'baldly' going, and the hilarious japes never stop. Picard was not always bald though, he once had a lush head of hair... that is until Q stole it!

Wednesday, 15 April 2015

[Jurassic Park] There were no dinosaurs in Jurassic Park


Billionaire John Hammond created a marvel with his brainchild of a dinosaur-themed park that featured real dinosaurs. Jurassic Park was to be the greatest family day out ever, but this soon turned to tragedy when the dinosaurs escaped and murdered everyone. There's just one problem with this synopsis: There were no dinosaurs in Jurassic Park.

Tuesday, 14 April 2015

[Lord of the Rings] Sauron's power was in Gollum, not the One Ring


The central focus of 'The Lord of the Rings' is the One Ring, a piece of jewellery forged by the Dark Lord Sauron and possessing all of his evil power. It is said to be able to corrupt minds and turn men to wickedness. The entirety of Frodo's quest is based around throwing the Ring into Mount Doom in order to destroy Sauron's power forever.

But Sauron's power didn't lie in the Ring. It lay in Gollum.

Monday, 13 April 2015

[Ant Man] Ant Man doesn't have shrinking powers


Ant Man is a popular Marvel superhero with the amazing powers of shrinking. Using his high-tech suit, he shrinks his body down to fight crime and befriend ants. Or at least that is what is commonly believed: the truth is that Ant Man can't shrink at all.

Sunday, 12 April 2015

[Daredevil] Daredevil is the Devil


Daredevil is Marvel's newest most exciting hero, by which I mean an existing hero from the 1960's that everyone suddenly realised was actually cool due to a new television show that doesn't star Ben Affleck. His origin is simple: blinded by a childhood accident, Matt Murdock is a lawyer by day but a costumed vigilante by night, beating up the criminals who get away with crimes in court!

Does Daredevil simply dress like Satan though, or is there something much more sinister about him? For it is possible that Daredevil is the literal Devil!

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